The Bride of the Monster

Day 1
She bought me a Frankenstein mask for my birthday. Does that mean she thinks I’m a monster?
I suppose it fits my sense of humor, I’m just not quite certain I get the joke (or that it even is one). Is it at my expense?

Day 2
Okay, so I came home today and she had her hair done up, like the bride of Frankenstein! What the hell is going on? She said it was a joke but…
We had sex though which was just great, she was really into it. I’m just glad she didn't ask me to wear the mask.

Day 3
How weird is this? There is a Frankenstein marathon on TV this week! Everyday there they play 3 movies in a row. I know this because they are circled in the TV guide in red. She’s not home yet, what the hell?
** I just found a copy of “Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” under her pillow!!

Day 4
She asked me to wear the mask in bed today; to wear the mask when we had sex. I should say HAD because I did it; I’m such a coward. I actually kind of got into it, I felt like I was some one else. This will either destroy me or make me a better person. HAHA What the hell am I talking about?

Day 5
She was restrained today. No mention of the monster all day! We got through the whole day until we climbed into bed and she switched on the television; the Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein, and Curse of Frankenstein. I don’t think Cosmopolitan ever covered this. Son of Frankenstein was very funny; Mel Brooks must have been inspired by this! (I keep forgetting that the Monster isn’t Frankenstein –It’s the doctor).

Day 6
When I woke up she was drawing stitches around my wrists with a sharpie, like my hands had been sewn on. She started doing this all over my body. It was frightening but it ended up turning me on. Just having her hands all over me first thing in the morning was hard to resist. This time she wanted to wear the mask and I had to put my foot down. I cannot have sex with a girl in a Frankenstein mask, I would rather die.

Day 7
Today was actually a beautiful day. We took a walk in the park and we just talked and laughed about stuff. She talked about Frankenstein and how beautiful she thought the book was and all these weird and fascinating ideas she has on the subject (like what it represents etc); nothing pretentious, nothing over the top or fanatical, just straight good fun thinking out loud. She’s really attached to the subject, she may have been attracted to Herman Munster when she was younger, she said something akin to that in passing but I didn’t want to press the issue. She said she sometimes goes through phases like this. Over all it was a great day, it explained a lot and took the edge off a bit. I hope this starts to fade out, I get worried about where this could be going.

Day 8
She didn’t come home last night and she’s not answering her cell phone. I sat on the bed and stared at that fucking Frankenstein mask on the floor, and then I kicked it across the fucking room. How can I get this off my mind? Should I call the police? I can’t escape it.

Day 9
There was a knock at the door at 4am. She looked like she had been crying and she hugged me so hard, I knew something must have happened. She sat down on the bed beside me and started to kiss me and touch me but I stopped her and asked what was going on. I asked her where she had been, and she was silent for a long time.

She said she had slept at the cemetery.

And then I was silent. Did she need me to understand? Is she trying to shock me or scare me away? Does this have anything at all to do with me? I care about her deeply and now I’m torn between my loyalty to her and my loyalty to myself. I don’t want to abandon her if she needs me. Maybe she didn’t sleep at the cemetery? Maybe it’s all a huge lie to manipulate me? How can I know the truth?

Her shoes are covered in mud.

Maybe she’s telling the truth?

I don’t know what to believe or what to think, but her eyes are warm and needing and when she starts to suck on my fingers I quickly lose track of the subject. I have never seen her like this before, she screamed, she was insatiable.

She held onto me all through the night. At one point I thought she was sobbing. Should I run for my life? She’s like a different person.

Day 10
Something is definitely wrong. She’s normal today. While I slept she straightened up. . She had breakfast waiting. The kitchen shined, the windows were clean, even the cabinets; It looked like she had been cleaning for hours.
She had her old sense of humor back; she was cool and level and relaxed. I didn’t want to bring it up but I…

She stiffened, but then she just took it in stride. She apologized; it was like she had put it all in perspective in a matter of hours.

When she went to the bathroom later I peeked into the garbage bag, the mask was in there, and “The bride wig”, a few Frankenstein videos, and the book by Mary Shelley. I flipped through the pages and there were under linings. I also saw her notebook, I grabbed them both and began to flip through them, but scared she’d walk back in and see me, I hid them in my bag.

When she came back I was washing the dishes. She put her arms around my waist and hugged me and kissed the back of my neck. I smiled. I turned around and we kissed. Sometimes she’s the sweetest girl, it breaks my heart; I adore her.

That night we talked again for hours. She explained things to me and apologized again. She made it sound like things would be good again. I was prepared for problems with any relationship but nothing like this. We lay down in bed, we were still just talking, then she climbed on top of me and hugged me and we kissed and just held each other. It was reassuring, this is the girl I fell in love with.

She started to undress me and I did the same for her. We had sex until it was dark, then she kissed me on the cheek. So cute.

She rolled onto her side, and I wondered what she was thinking about. Soon I could hear from her breathing that she was asleep. I had planned to go through the book and her note book now, but I couldn’t do it. I would throw them away in the morning.

Maybe we’d gotten through the worst of it?

I was trying to sort through everything in my mind. I’d never wanted a “Normal” relationship and I certainly did not have one.

I could hardly keep my eyes open.

I wanted to have faith in her.

I closed my eyes and a phrase from one of those movies came into my head “We belong dead”. It echoed through my thoughts and it had the ring of something absolutely profound (It was probably stupid), but deep in my heart I knew there was something beautiful about it.

THE END

At the breakfast table “W” turned to his mother:

My dear has time gone mad?

It has most certainly has not little one, why do you ask?

Well this cereal has lost its crunch its verve its crackle!

Why it’s just soggy, you need to add more flakes.

But it is no such thing, it seems that the crackle that is lost is…within my tiny heart.

Oh poor child you must tell me of the whoa’s that have led to this!

Yes, I suppose I could bare my soul to you, the woman who gave me life- but you see, its not so necessarily about any specific occurrence or series of events that has led me to this moment but rather a sense of monotony that seems to have crawled inside me and scooped out the enjoyment that I would normally associate with these wonderful every day things! It is as though I remember the words and I still speak them, but I no longer know what they mean.

What cereal is it?

Cocoa Flakes

Should I not buy them any more?

Why no they are simply delicious, it’s just that, if only I could still enjoy them and life the way I once did.

I think your going through a crisis little one. You’re turning 4 this year-

Oh stop don’t say it!

It’s true and from what I can remember it’s not an easy year.

You don’t have to remind me!

Do you think that what you’ve lost will never return?

But isn’t that a credible threat?

Why sure it is, but is there not more for you out there in the world? Could you not start to eat “Goody flakes” or “Raisin and nut gobs”?

I suppose so, but what of the things I’ve lost mother? What of them? Tell me quick! I must have an answer!

Oh little “W” how you suffer, you struggle so much for so many things! Who knows what it means to lose interest or feeling for something? Why does it worry you so much, perhaps you have merely lost the taste for it but it will soon return! Have you not thought of that?

I have mother but what I fear most is that the feelings and emotions I have will constantly be fading and adjusting and moving away from me! How ever can I be a credible human being with emotions and thoughts in a constant state of flux? I can’t say I love cocoa flakes today and have no opinion tomorrow! This is not consistency this is not reason! Its heresy pure and simple, this little lad will be the laughing stock of the play grounds with opinions and thoughts that cannot be accounted for!

When you were a baby you held your teddy bear where ever you went, you loved him-

WELL I STILL DO!!! I STILL DO!! MOTHER THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE!!! I LOVE HUGGLES AND I ALWAYS WILL!! (Starts sobbing)

Oh there, there, little angel, oh there, there. Why do you cry like this? I’m not going to take him away from you, but don’t you see what I mean? He is still your best bear is he not?

(Still sobbing) Oh mummy I have slipped, just this morning I played with Duke Power while (sniffle) Huggles sat alone upon the couch! Can you tell me this is the work of a normal human boy? Can you tell me that? I am an animal! I belong in a zoo! Why his plastic beaded eyes must have rolled into the back of his head when he saw me! Oh how I am lanced by emotion! When will it end!

“W” Please don’t cry (she brushes the hair from his eyes). You’ll be ok, I can assure you! Change is not something that you can run from, nor should you be ashamed or afraid of it!

But I am!! I want to stay exactly as I am for the rest of my life! I want to be four until I am a hundred! I want to be holding the hand of Huggles as I plunge into the sanctity of nothingness!

Would you-! Don’t speak this way! You’re but a little lad now, you can’t stay as you are! There are so many changes for you to go through, and things for you to experience! Do you know how it makes me feel to hear you speak this way??

What if I wish it mummy? Do you think it would come true? To stay forever the same? No body would ever know, I would tell no one.

Don’t you want to grow up like your mummy? Or Mr.Hemshaw?

Oh I like Mr. Hemshaw mummy! He is ever so much fun!

See! You could be just like him when you grow up, you could be just like all of the adults!

To even think it leaves me gasping, I cannot deny my hesitancy. Are all children like me, why do I ask for so many things?

Children often ask for things they can not have! Like rocket ships and motor scooters-

But I need a motor scooter!!

-Limozines and pianos. Even I constantly ask from the world more than it can give me, “W” life is full of disappointments, it’s an inevitability but you can push past them and grow up into a strong handsome wonderful person! I know you will, your mummy loves you and I will always be here for you!

Always? You won’t be here always, there is no always. I know about dying now, it was in my Dostoevsky book. There are so many things I cannot escape.

Yes death is inevitable too and one day I will die, just like every one will-

And me too mummy.

(Mom starts sobbing) Oh how can you SPEAK THIS WAY? You should never die! I never want to hear you speak about it again! As far as I’m concerned you’ll live forever! I never want to think about your death and I never want you to think about it or speak of it again- DO YOU HEAR ME??

I’m Sorry.

Things change and people grow up and move on, things are always shifting, and nothing can stay the same…nothing at all.

I didn’t mean it, I was scared…

I am too “W”, but being scared is a part of life, just as it is to be happy and full of energy and laughter. You have to learn accept life as it comes and not cling to an idea of what you think it should be! Life will be what it is, and your ideas must rise to meet them so that you may never be let down.

You say all of this, but there must be more, couldn’t there be more?

(Sigh) I suppose there could be. I suppose that while I have been bending myself to fit into narrow spaces my whole life I could have pushed and opposed and fought for the things I needed. Maybe I am the one who needs to learn something about life; maybe I’ve lived a life of mistakes and error.

No mommy!

It’s a thought. I’m allowed to doubt, just as you are and you can be scared and I can be scared and we can both be scared of different things at the same time.

But I don’t want to make you sad mummy.

I’m not sad, I’m very happy and I love you very much! You are my most beautiful cutest smartest boy in the entire world! Maybe you’ll change everything and soon every one will say, “Not since ole “W” showed up have I had to despair, life has meaning again, huzzah huzzah”!

What is Huzzah?

Oh ha ha. I…don’t know! Ha ha that’s silly isn’t it? Well it’s a declaration of some kind meant to signify great joy and enthusiasm, but I haven’t the foggiest notion of what it means. I never thought about it, “Huzzah..Huzzah” haha oh what a silly word it is! I can hardly believe people would shout it at the top of their voices! Ha-ha oh how silly it is!

Ha-ha, that’s funny. Huzzah! Huzzah!

Ha ha Huzzah it is! In deed!

Mummy?

Yes dear?

I’m not scared any more.

Oh splendid! Neither am I! Isn’t it silly how you can be happy and sad in an instant!

It tis.

Come here you, give us a big hug and kiss!

He runs to her and throws his arms around her and she lifts him up in the air and kisses him all over his face and he kisses her.

Aren’t you the little trouble maker today with all of your worries.

I know, I guess I didn’t need to worry so much at all, I love you mummy.

Why aren’t you the sweet little boy! I love you too, my cute little one. Do you want more cereal now? I’m going to throw out these soggy flakes.

No I’ve had enough of those! I can hear Huggles calling me, he wants to watch TV.

Oh splendid! We must not forget about good old Huggles! Off to it!

(From the other room)

Oh Huggles stop complaining, I’m here now aren’t I? You’re going to have to learn to accept life as it comes my dear friend, I missed you too, but we must not fear change…for it is inevitable.

The end

9/02/06
“DYNG 2 MEET U”

Standing on a tall chair he twisted the pale gray bulb into the socket.

“Is it in?”

“Yeah”

From across the room she flipped the switch.

The light hit his eyes and he toppled backward off the chair landing onto the couch.

“My god Margaret, give me some warning next time!”

“Next time? Are you planning on making a habit of this?”

“Maybe I am. I might have some other bulbs that need changing; you could be my light box mama”.

She walked past the fire place and fixed her hair in the mirror.

Michael sat up and leaning on his elbow he looked her over.

“You look great”.

She smiled at him through the mirror as she brushed the hair out of her eyes.

“I’m a wreck”.

“No you’re a beauty, you radiate like the sun”

“Would you stop” she said laughing out loud.

“Do you ever listen to the things you say?”

“I know I’m ridiculous, my every thought is another fanciful embarrassment that I can never live down, but I can’t make them go away so I speak my mind and suffer the consequences, I’m a true martyr”

“Well your lucky” She said as she made her way around the couch, switching on a lamp on the way “I happen to think it’s cute”.

“You do?”

“Man that is pretty lucky, I have to say.”

She stood before him now and he lay back and folded his arms across his chest. She leaned over and held her face just above his.

“You’re side ways you know”

“Maybe you’re just crooked”

“Maybe you’re right.”

“You should kiss me so we know for sure”

She moved her face close to his and their lips pressed together, when they pulled apart he sighed aloud.

“I’m definitely the crooked one”

“Is there room on that couch for me Monsieur?”

“Yep, please join me!”

She lay down beside him and kicked off her shoes. They hit the floor with two heavy thumps.

“Heavy shoes”

“That’s what they call me”

“I’m glad you could come over tonight Margie”

“Oh me too”

“I really missed you last week”

“I missed you too Michael”

There is a brief pause.

“So do you love me?”

“What?”

“Oh nothing, it’s silly, I didn’t mean it in some giant royal spectacle sort of way, just more like- It doesn’t mean anything…” He trailed off trying to find the words

“I shouldn’t have said anything, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment; I just felt so close to you then. Everyone makes such a big deal about it, you can love candy you can love puppies but we can’t love each other with out the alarms going off.”

“So what are you saying that you love me?”

“I’m not saying anything, I don’t want to talk any more, is that okay? Can we just sit here again?”

“Okay”

He turned onto his side and pressed against her. They sat like that curled together, Margaret stared up at the ceiling, her mind drifting all across the room, and Michael lay beside her with his eyes closed lost in his thoughts and drifting through the comfort of being alone with her.

She moved closer and pressed her body against his; she reached out and touched his hand.

She sat like that, staring and thinking for some time until she broke into a smile and laughing, turned to face him:

“You’re a silly boy Michael” She said in a whisper.

She waited but he didn’t answer.

“But I do love you”

He didn’t respond; and she could tell he was asleep by his breathing.

“Grand, royal, or spectacular, what ever it is...“

“…I’m glad to meet you”

And just then they disappeared in a burst of smoke, and the once bright room grew slowly- gradually- dim.


THE END